whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
