Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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