ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
