You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
