why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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