I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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