It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
