why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
