I could have mohawked her pubes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
