If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
