so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
