Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
