Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
