remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
