At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize