That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
