Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
