I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize