Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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