This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
