How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
