Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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