it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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