WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
