4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize