I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
tell me about the fingering
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
