Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize