OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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