I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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