I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
