i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
