watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
