My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
