Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As shirtless as possible
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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