At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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