whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
