i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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