Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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