a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
