12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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