drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
