didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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