you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
