Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
