okay pat passed out under dana's car
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
