their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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