I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize