im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
