Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
