Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize