can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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