She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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