Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
