HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
smell my finger.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
