Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize