I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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