And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
