My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize