I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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