i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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