come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
