Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
