she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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