Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
