I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
