very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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