beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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