I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
