just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize