Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
