WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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